Trimming the Fat- and early playoff preview

Does anyone who read this blog (basically all "contributers" listed to the right) give a shit what the Bills, Bucs, Browns (other shitty teams starting with a B) do this season? They will be lucky to have a rebound year where they finish 5-11. Just high enough to miss out on an elite draftpick that can rebuild their franchise. Have fun in Limbo, Dom Cobbs of the NFL. Nice dirtstache.

Hold still honey, you've got a little shmutz above your lip

-Leonardo DiCaprio's Mom

No! Is the resounding response I said to myself privately yet aloud as I was writing this column (it really is a column...pretty thin...made the background black becasue its slimming. We care about Big Market teams, elite players who finish strong, and Playoffs baby!

Here are the teams that are actually going to compete for playoff spots. I will give myself the flexibility of listing 8 playoff teams per conference, because hey, shit happens and i could be off by just a smidgen. NFC today, AFC when i feel like it, bitch.

NFC Unofficial Power Rankings

-sponsored by HGH

1. Saints- Yeah I remember when they sucked. They drafted Ricky Williams. Had a bunch of borderline mediocre at best qbs, Aarom Brooks, Billy Joe something or other. Ditka was fun. The Katrina hit and brought with it a flood (of talent). Too soon? The city is rebuilding and the Aints have a lot to play for in the near future. its tough to be on top, but with that offense and some playmakers on D they will win a bunch of games. Also, easy schedule this year.

2. Cowboys- No surprise. Money doesn't by championships but it buys good players, a nice stadium, and the best cheerleaders in the biz. (Although Miami does ok, too.) The Cowboys are firing on all cylinders. As long as they can keep their RBs healthy and their WRs show some maturity there is nothing stopping them from an NFC East title. Plenty of Cowboys fans probably read this blog, so take the #1 power ranking and rest on your laurels until January when Tony Romo starts dreaming of Grammy Award winning girls and Wade Phillips starts his dual new years resolution to lose weight and lose playoff games.

3. Packers- With Aaron Rodgers at the helm, the Pack no longer mourn the loss of he who shall not be named and his fickle preseason antics. Best Defensive player in the NFC, good lb and d line corp. Weapons at wideout and a solid rb. The went with a lineman first round of the draft. That says your stacked already with talent but you dont want your new franchise qb spending the afternoons getting better acquainted with the frozen tundra. If brett favre didnt return and will inevitably find a way to beat them once, I would have ranked them above the 'Boys.

4. Vikings- AP is a beast. Go ahead and put 8 in the box. This guy is fun to watch. We will see how he fares without Chester taylor to wear ppl down but I think he has more rushing yards than Chris Johnson, and more TDs than Michael Turner. Farve is there and will throw pics and TDs, keep defenses of balance, and ride his purple chariot off into the sunset after this season. The fact is NO ONE CAN RUN IN THIS DEFENSE. They force you to pass and Jared Allen in all his eccentric "cowboy with perrenially awkward but awesome facial hair" glory will eat you alive. Sidney Rice is out but they will still make a WildCard and can do damage as long as Brett and his painkillers hold up.

5. 49ers- The Bill Walsh days of a stud QB and fancy new wave Cal-Berkley West Coast Pot Smoking Prop 8 fancy pants West Coast offense? day are gone. Hello Mike Singletary and a Defense that wants to bend you over and wish you weren't suddenly a "power bottom". Talent on offense except for a QB. Defense wins Championships, and these guys will win an easy division and maybe even a playoff game.

6. Giants/Falcons/Panthers.

G-men always find ways to win some games they shouldnt. Its a Manning thing maybe. Coughlin is hard nosed (and red faced when its chilly) and gets every ounce outta those guys. The D is patched together with duck tape and chicken wire and misses the hell out of Strahan. However they should put it together enough to control their own destiny come playoff time if they dont drop too many within division.

Falcons- C'Mon man! (Cris Carter impression) Offensive Talent! Built to play efficient and chew up the clock. Marred by injuries last year they are due to rebound if they ever figure out you have to play defense also.

Panthers? Yeah Panthers. Great running Game. Solid D. QB that finds Steve Smith. They need to win the turnover battle and make a few special teams plays and they will sneak into that 6th spot based on a weak schedule. John Fox has always been an underrated coach to me, and if they can play defense (I know, WITHOUT Julius Peppers) like i think they can, they can squeeze in. Or go 6-10. Its a blog. Relax. I gotta make a bold prediction. Its what Bloggers DO!