On tuesday, March 2, college freshman phenom Britteny Griner punched the shit out of some other chick on the court. Why am I spending time talking about womens college bball with baseball season starting and March Madness around the corner? I dunno. But here is a list of 5 chicks I wouldn't want to start shit with. Not because I couldn't kick their asses, but because its so much tougher to bake me a pie with two broken legs.5. Britteny Griner. she inspired the article and shes a girl that can dunk. also she wears a mens size 17 shoe. The roundhouse she dropped on that girl the other day was a sucked punch but it has some pop. Did I mention she can dunk? Probably need to give her a hormone test before I go toe to toe. How do you make a hormone? refuse to pay her.
4. Rebecca Lobo. Maybe not as tough as Griner but a hell of a long reach. Plus she has a really long face. it kinda scares me. plus, Lobo means wolf and they are tough. Imagine a pack of Rebecca Lobos'? If you did you probably just peed a little.
3. Girls that play first base in softball. Especially at a high level. These girls are the hard hitters that a built like linebackers or pickle barrels. If you can imagine your average Samoan wrestler a foot shorter with slightly larger boobs and a swing like George Brett. Plus they are probably lesbians.
2. Hayley Wichenheiser. Wait who? She plays hockey with the guys and in this video kicked some ass of the younger brother of a pro hockey player. http://www.totalprosports.com/2009/11/23/rub-out-causes-female-hockey-star-hayley-wickenheiser-to-fight-back/
Plus in the article it says she "rubbed him out." A woman that can fight like that and will give you an HJ right after is a catch. Only problem with hockey girls is they have nasty pussies because they wait for 3 periods to change their pads.
1. Laila Ali. She floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee but has a clittoris. A clit that has its own fist. She could definately kick my ass. If I had a problem with her I would just wait 30 years and hope she develops Parkinsons. Even though I will be almost 60 i think I can beat up a 65 year old girl with the shakes.
list of additional women you shouldn't fight:
ReplyDeleteCris "Cyborg" Santos check the 4:40 point
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVhEbTIExrk
that crazy villain chick from Power Rangers with the Mayan headdress and stick that can make henchmen grow 100 ft
Rupaul
because I guess technically your getting your ass kicked by a man and a woman at the same time so it was never a fair fight to begin with
Kathy Bates
pretty much only her role from Misery, other versions of her I can take
Beyonce's Vagina
I'm sure it'd be memorable but in the end I'd wind up getting broken in half