Calling all out of shape Olympic wannabes!

If you're anything like me. 6'2...approx 300lbs...love bacon...you have probably been watching a lot of Olympic Curling in the last few days. This has instantly become my favorite Winter Olympic because it breaks the mold of EVERYTHING that is associated with an Olympian or Elite atheletics. It is neither high energy and flashy (like skiing, snowboarding) nor technically graceful (figure skating (there is also no decided advantage to be gay in curling as it is in figure skating). By my count it isn't dangerous either (ice luge:1 curling: 0). Worst case scenerio someone stubs their toe. So why is it my favorite sport? Why am I glued to the set trying to absorb every second of strategy and ounce of knowledge I can? Because I can do that. Yup. I could be an Olympian. Me! and maybe you too! Are you over weight? Pretty good as shuffleboard? Do you own a broom? Well my friend I am recruiting YOU! Imagine this. You're an average looking guy...making an average income. You're out with your friends...talking to a cute girl when this smooth, lean guy swoops in talking about his six figure salary and sports car trying to steal her away. She looks back to see what you have for a counter. BOOM! You pull out you Olympic gold Medal! Start the pussy parade!

Admittedly this is a ridiculous scenerio. Why would you carry around your gold medal? Why are you drinking somewhere that guys with 6 figure salaries hang out? you are broke! AND you don't have any game so that girl wouldnt give you the time of day! Either way I think I could be good at curling. i'm pretty good at that shuffle board game with the table sand. Especially if I'm blue pucks. Second, if I had people sweeping i could be even better! I researched the Bios for the US olympic curling team. There isn;t a "full time curler" in the bunch! Its a freaking hobby!!! There is a sub teacher, telecom employee, etc. Shit, if I had the money to commit full time to this I could be that good in 4, maybe 8 years. These guys on the US team are all 40+ anyway!!! I could wait 12 years and be right there! What other olympic sport are the atheletes at their prime ages after 40? See what I mean? You, I, We can DO this!!!! I have taken the liberty of linking the curling-nj website in Plainfield NJ. Yeah it really exists! All we need is some sponsorships and a few good men! I'm not saying it wouldn't and I could in no way gaurantee even making the olympic team. But hell...if there is any hope that there is parody in the sports world its that a highly trained athelete like Apollo Ono cant get a gold, but overweight guys in their 40's can be Olympians! Someone contact me at this blog...I want to start immediate production on the exclusive movie rights to a "Cool Runnings" style underdog curling movie starring myself and my friends as we try to make the Olympic curling team. Just call me Skip (an actual position in curling).