Credit for Kolb

As an Eagles fan, I instinctively am drawn to articles and game recaps regarding them whether it was from lousy Cowboys fans or frustrated fellow Philadelphia fans, but I could not get over several articles from "educated" sports media members regarding Sunday's loss to the Redskins - according to media members who watched the game this week, Kevin Kolb completely sucks, and Mike Vick is a reformed man turned saint. After reading several stories, all of which have the same undertones, I am having difficulty understanding if these people were watching the same game that I was.

"Only four men hath ascended into heaven - Elijah, Enoch, Jesus Christ, and most importantly, Mike Vick."

-Prophet Peter King

I am not saying Kolb had a great game - he didn't. He threw a lot of checkdown passes, made a few bad decisions, and had a big miss on a long pass that could have been a TD. However, saying he had a bad game would be stretching the truth as well - Kolb had a solid, yet unspectacular game against a defense that kept their safeties deep the entire game. He exploited what the defense gave him - underneath routes. The Redskins were determined to keep speedsters Maclin and Jackson from busting big plays. Drops from a few of his players didn't help him out either.

My point is that if you were to read the game recaps, you'd have thought Mike Vick was shredding up the Redskins prior to his injury. He wasn't. Not even close. Vick completed 5 passes for 49 yards, and 31 of them came off of a screen to McCoy. The remaining completions were for 0, 5, 7, and 6 yards. He had one shot down field - a deep pass to Celek that was broken up. Being fair, he did have a big play (where he was injured), but even that was called back for a penalty that allowed Vick to spring out for a huge gain. Vick was hitting the open receivers - there simply was not anyone open down the field. The deep cover two played by the Redskins made sure of that.

Neither Vick nor Kolb was chucking the ball downfield, and it wasn't there fault. The Eagles were outcoached this game. From the delay of game penalty at the end of the half to the lack of creativity in the playcalling to exploit the cover 2, Andy Reid had what may have been his worst coaching display in his career. While the cover 2 takes away the deep ball, the best way to counter it is to run the ball straight up the gut. The defense typically will respond by sending a safety up close to the line, which opens up the possibility for a deep play. Shannahan knew Reid would keep throwing the ball, and he let his safeties stay in the cover two, completely fearless of an Eagles' rushing attack. He called Reid on his weaknesses, and Reid didn't make adjustments, running his backs only 19 times. The fact that he can't even properly manage the clock (and we all know this isn't the first time that's happened) makes me question what on earth he's focused on out there.

"Uh, coach Reid, we need to get a play call in before time expires.... Andy?... ANDY?!?"

Even if the run was abandoned, Reid needs to call in plays where the receivers find the seams in the cover two, and then do what the Eagles' WR's do best - make plays in the open field. While the backs did their job catching passes out of the backfield, Reid kept calling routes that didn't allow their receivers to get open. What is Kolb supposed to do? Launch the ball to a well covered receiver and pray?

To top it all off, the Eagles played undisciplined - 8 penalties for 80 yards. That's inexcusable, especially considering that so many of them ended up costing the Eagles much more than just yardage - a horsecollar tackle penalty on 3rd down that ultimately gave a first down and a TD, holding penalties bringing big plays back, the delay of game, and a host of others that had major implications. To top it off, the defense played pretty terrible - about the only thing they did do was hold McNabb's stats down. They got torn up by a RB who was just activated from the practice squad. Stewart Bradley had his worst game as a starter. Ditto for Quintin Mikell. Of course, there also was the Curt Koleman play. Just a mediocre showing by most of the defense- the lone bright spot was probably rookie Nate Allen who played decently against the run, had an interception, and kept his coverage tight enough to avoid throws in his direction.

Perhaps the thing that burned me up the most about this game was that Kolb was sent into this game under pretty much the same conditions as Vick was sent into the Green Bay game. Down by 14 points, and the team didn't have much going for it. Sure, he was given a field goal, but the defense gave up a field goal on the next possession just to even it up. Kolb got this team moving, and he received no credit for doing it - Kolb drove the ball down the field at the end of the first half, and Reid blew it with the delay of game penalty. Kolb drove the ball down the field yet again in the 3rd, and McCoy lost a fumble while they were already within field goal range. He took the team down the field in the closing seconds, and the Eagles were a dropped pass away from the win. Kolb put the team in position to put points on the board, and in every occasion, points were left on the field through no fault of his own.

It's true that Kolb didn't play as well as I had hoped he would, but to blame him (or the absence of Mike Vick) for the Eagles loss is foolish and rash. Kolb did what the defense let him do - he hit the open receivers. Reid did not do what he needed to - he panicked, continued sending the receivers on bad routes, and refused to budge on his gameplan. I was ready to choke out the commentators, who continued blaming Kolb for "not getting the ball to his receivers." While Maclin was open on a few plays, for the most part, the receivers were covered, and it had nothing to do with Kolb - it had everything to do with Reid. If you want Vick back, that's fine. But don't pretend that Vick was doing anything better than Kolb was. Don't blame Kolb for this week's loss - blame Reid.

AFC South Preview - The Colts Are At It Again

AFC SOUTH PREVIEW

The South has been one of the best divisions in the NFL for awhile now. Peyton Manning wakes up in the morning, and pisses a 10 win season, the Texans would be a perrenial playoff team in over half of the divisions in the league, the Titans have sneakily been one of the best regular season teams in the past decade, and the Jaguars... well.... they're there too. I don't think this division is quite as talented as they have been in the past few seasons, but a moderate schedule could sneak a wildcard team into the playoffs from this division. I don't see it happening, but it could.

Houston Texans

The Texans have had a rough draw - they joined the league and immediately were put into one of the toughest divisions in the NFL. Do you know what the Texans divisional record has been over the past 3 years? It's 4-14. They are 23-11 outside of their division over that span. For a team that is always hovering around .500, that's a kick in the dick.

Welcome to the NFL!

They brought in Matt Schaub to lead their offense, and if their runningbacks can stop fumbling for a few carries, this team's offense is going to be nearly unstoppable. I love Owen Daniels, and Andre Johnson perpetually destroys defenses hopes and dreams. Unfortunately, they have to put a defense on the field too. The Texan's defense is like Jessica Simpson as of late. Sure, she has great boobs, but beyond those boobs, there's just a lot of fat, and it really isn't pretty. The Texans' double D's are Mario Williams, Brian Cushing, and DeMeco Ryans. While Brendan Pollard, Eugene Wilson, and Amobi Okeye bring a great personality to the table, no one is going to like this chick until she trims some fat and gets her curves back in the right places.

Prediction:

I probably was a bit harsh on the defense up there - they're a mediocre group that hopefully will develop into a legit threat. The Texans luck out by playing the AFC West, who they should destroy, but unfortunately, they also play the NFC East, which is the one division that has been significantly better than the AFC South over the past decade. They suffer through another .500ish season, going 7-9.

Indianapolis Colts

Peyton Manning.

Prediction:

12-4

Jacksonville Jaguars

The Jaguars are trying to be a team like the Ravens or Steelers - have a ferocious D, and a great rushing attack, and the rest will just fall into place. The problem is that the Jaguars simply don't have a ferocious defense. It's very average-ish and relatively unimpressive. Can you name 4 starters from their D? I tried, and I got 3, one of whom I only know because he was added this year, and when I went to go see who the hell they had starting, I saw Reggie Nelson was just traded, so I'm down to 2. While I do think Aaron Kampman was a great pickup for them, they simply don't have enough pieces to be a legitimate threat on defense. Sure, they'll be a decent D, and that'd be good enough for a team like the Texans or the Colts, but offensively, they won't put up the points to keep pace with their opponents. Yes, MJD is a beast, and their receivers are the best they've had in years, but the most important player on their team is going to be David Gerrard, and he simply isn't good enough. If he were on the Jets, I'd have them as a Super Bowl lock, but on a team with a bad defense, your QB needs to be more than reliable and steady.

Prediction:

Rough year for the Jags. They go 6-10 and start looking for a new QB.

Tennessee Titans

Everyone seems to be pretty high on the Titans, and for good reason. Vince Young finally seems to have his head on straight, they have a decent D, a good line, and the most explosive player in the NFL. It seems like they're poised to take the next step, right? In my opinion, no, they're not. Yes, Chris Johnson is absurdly good. I get it. I really do, but remember that he was absurdly good last season too, and they were a .500 football team. And for the most part, their wins came against piss-poor competition. During the offseason, they let go of their very underrated DE Kyle Vandenbosch, and their defensive leader Keith Bullock. They replaced these guys with a couple of Eagles castoffs in Witherspoon and Babin, who hasn't started in this league since he played in Houston, which was 3 years ago. I can't help but look at this defense and wonder where the pass rush is going to come from? They were the 2nd worst passing defense in the league last year, and the 5th worst overall, and yet they still have the reputation of being a "solid" D. Unless Vince Young can move the ball efficiently and put points on the board, this team is going to struggle more than people realize.

Prediction:

They finish 6-10 and draft a pass rusher early next year.

AFC North - Rapists, Murderers, and Thugs in general

AFC North Preview

I'm already behind my quota, so I'm going to need to decrease the length of these, which in all honesty is something I should have done anyway. Much like my fiance says, if it takes longer than five minutes, I must be doing something wrong (she doesn't say that - sorry honey... also, she doesn't read this anyway, so I'm secretly not sorry at all).

The AFC North has recently been the hotspot for criminal activities. It all started with Ray Lewis straight up murdering someone nearly a decade ago. From there the disease spread to the Bengals, where it manifested in a variety of hosts, and now it seems to have even spread to the Steelers, who were once the "high character" franchise of the NFL, looking down upon the others in their division like a hybrid driving, pea-coat-wearing hipster when he sees me climbing out of my giant SUV wearing a cutoff t-shirt and zubaz.

America - Fuck Yeah!

Baltimore Ravens:

I like the Ravens this year.... a lot. I think they're going to be dominant. So dominant that they're my pick to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl this year. Flacco (a fellow Udel Alumni-represent!) has all the tools he needs to succeed in this league, and the Ravens have finally thrown him a bone by adding Boldin, a WR that I believe is one of the most underrated in the league. With the offense becoming a legitimate threat, even if the defense regresses, and Ed Reed misses significant time, this team is going to be incredibly dangerous. The only thing that worries me is the depth at a few positions (mostly in the secondary) but honestly, they could throw Danny Tanner at corner and not experience a huge drop off.

Jason Sehorn 2.0

Prediction:

It's never easy playing in a competitive division, and the AFC East has some tough teams as well. Every single game on their schedule is certainly "winnable" and I think they win most of them. They go 12-4 and earn a first round bye on their way to another Super Bowl appearance.

Cincinnati Bengals

It may surprise some of you to hear that the Bengals are on a make or break year with Carson Palmer - they have a talented defense, a resurging RB, a duo of talented WR's, and a decent line. There is simply no excuse left for Palmer to not put up numbers and make this a winning football team. If he struggles, I think the Bengals draft an heir-apparent early next year. However, I don't think that will be a problem. Adding TO was a great move - as an Eagles fan, I hate TO with a passion, but I think people would be remiss to assume that he is done as a football player. Honestly, how many WR's would have thrived in Buffalo last year? Maybe 3 or 4 in the entire league? TO may not be a top 5 WR any more, but he's certainly still talented enough to be a productive WR, especially when lined up across from Ocho Cinco. Assuming Cedric Benson can be productive, the Bengals will be a danger on the field rather than off.

Prediction:

As talented as the Bengals are, they have a rough schedule, and they aren't quite as good as the Ravens. I think they'll finish above .500, but not by much. They go 9-7 this year.

Cleveland Browns

The Browns are pretty awful. Their plan to fix their issues is to bring in a QB who had the worst post season game in NFL history a couple years back, and followed that up by throwing 18 Int's compared to 8 TD's last season. That's like fixing your broken leg by getting hit by a bus.

Relax. I'm a doctor.

Many people like to point out that they won their last four games last year, but I like to point out that they finished last and second to last in offensive and defensive yards last year. The good news is that they can run the ball, have some talent along the offensive line, and as bad as Delhomme was last year, he can't be much worse than anything they had before.

Prediction:

They go 3-13 this year. Better luck next year.

Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers are one of those teams that are really impossible to predict this year. Their defense is still going to be completely nasty this year, but can you honestly tell me that Dennis Dixon is going to lead them to a respectable record in those first 4 games? Even if they manage to go 2-2 over the opening (they won't), they're in a tough division, and you'd have to assume Roethlisberger is coming back a bit rusty. I suppose in the long run, this may be good for Pittsburg - they'll get back to their smashmouth roots, and by the time Roethlisberger is coming around, they'll be pushing for a playoff spot.

Prediction:

They will certainly be a dangerous team as they close out the year, but that 1-3 start will kill them. 7-9 finish, and they miss the playoffs.

Trimming the Fat- and early playoff preview

Does anyone who read this blog (basically all "contributers" listed to the right) give a shit what the Bills, Bucs, Browns (other shitty teams starting with a B) do this season? They will be lucky to have a rebound year where they finish 5-11. Just high enough to miss out on an elite draftpick that can rebuild their franchise. Have fun in Limbo, Dom Cobbs of the NFL. Nice dirtstache.

Hold still honey, you've got a little shmutz above your lip

-Leonardo DiCaprio's Mom

No! Is the resounding response I said to myself privately yet aloud as I was writing this column (it really is a column...pretty thin...made the background black becasue its slimming. We care about Big Market teams, elite players who finish strong, and Playoffs baby!

Here are the teams that are actually going to compete for playoff spots. I will give myself the flexibility of listing 8 playoff teams per conference, because hey, shit happens and i could be off by just a smidgen. NFC today, AFC when i feel like it, bitch.

NFC Unofficial Power Rankings

-sponsored by HGH

1. Saints- Yeah I remember when they sucked. They drafted Ricky Williams. Had a bunch of borderline mediocre at best qbs, Aarom Brooks, Billy Joe something or other. Ditka was fun. The Katrina hit and brought with it a flood (of talent). Too soon? The city is rebuilding and the Aints have a lot to play for in the near future. its tough to be on top, but with that offense and some playmakers on D they will win a bunch of games. Also, easy schedule this year.

2. Cowboys- No surprise. Money doesn't by championships but it buys good players, a nice stadium, and the best cheerleaders in the biz. (Although Miami does ok, too.) The Cowboys are firing on all cylinders. As long as they can keep their RBs healthy and their WRs show some maturity there is nothing stopping them from an NFC East title. Plenty of Cowboys fans probably read this blog, so take the #1 power ranking and rest on your laurels until January when Tony Romo starts dreaming of Grammy Award winning girls and Wade Phillips starts his dual new years resolution to lose weight and lose playoff games.

3. Packers- With Aaron Rodgers at the helm, the Pack no longer mourn the loss of he who shall not be named and his fickle preseason antics. Best Defensive player in the NFC, good lb and d line corp. Weapons at wideout and a solid rb. The went with a lineman first round of the draft. That says your stacked already with talent but you dont want your new franchise qb spending the afternoons getting better acquainted with the frozen tundra. If brett favre didnt return and will inevitably find a way to beat them once, I would have ranked them above the 'Boys.

4. Vikings- AP is a beast. Go ahead and put 8 in the box. This guy is fun to watch. We will see how he fares without Chester taylor to wear ppl down but I think he has more rushing yards than Chris Johnson, and more TDs than Michael Turner. Farve is there and will throw pics and TDs, keep defenses of balance, and ride his purple chariot off into the sunset after this season. The fact is NO ONE CAN RUN IN THIS DEFENSE. They force you to pass and Jared Allen in all his eccentric "cowboy with perrenially awkward but awesome facial hair" glory will eat you alive. Sidney Rice is out but they will still make a WildCard and can do damage as long as Brett and his painkillers hold up.

5. 49ers- The Bill Walsh days of a stud QB and fancy new wave Cal-Berkley West Coast Pot Smoking Prop 8 fancy pants West Coast offense? day are gone. Hello Mike Singletary and a Defense that wants to bend you over and wish you weren't suddenly a "power bottom". Talent on offense except for a QB. Defense wins Championships, and these guys will win an easy division and maybe even a playoff game.

6. Giants/Falcons/Panthers.

G-men always find ways to win some games they shouldnt. Its a Manning thing maybe. Coughlin is hard nosed (and red faced when its chilly) and gets every ounce outta those guys. The D is patched together with duck tape and chicken wire and misses the hell out of Strahan. However they should put it together enough to control their own destiny come playoff time if they dont drop too many within division.

Falcons- C'Mon man! (Cris Carter impression) Offensive Talent! Built to play efficient and chew up the clock. Marred by injuries last year they are due to rebound if they ever figure out you have to play defense also.

Panthers? Yeah Panthers. Great running Game. Solid D. QB that finds Steve Smith. They need to win the turnover battle and make a few special teams plays and they will sneak into that 6th spot based on a weak schedule. John Fox has always been an underrated coach to me, and if they can play defense (I know, WITHOUT Julius Peppers) like i think they can, they can squeeze in. Or go 6-10. Its a blog. Relax. I gotta make a bold prediction. Its what Bloggers DO!

AFC East Preview

This is the first of what will hopefully become an 8 part preview for the upcoming season - meaning I have to buckle down and do about 1 write up a day, so we'll see how that goes. Before I start, let me remind everyone that this is preseason - it's a long year, and a lot can change from now until the end of the season - or even from now until next week. Picking which teams will do well at this point in the season is like guessing which of your college buddies is going to take home a fat chick. While you have a pretty good idea who the usual suspects are, and you have a few guys on the fringe that you're rooting for, when the sun comes up the next day, and you frantically try to roll the big boned behemoth out of your bed before your roommates catch you, you realize that your guessing game was futile, and the best laid plans have all fallen apart. I mean, it'd be downright illogical to not pick the Colts as (at the very least) a wildcard playoff team. However, if Peyton Manning goes down in week 3 with a season ending injury, do you still count them in? Of course not. Without Manning the Colts are a 6-7 win team. With Curtis Painter, they're a -3 win team.

"Ruin my 16-0 season again, and I'll fucking kill you."

-Peyton Manning

Keeping that in mind, there are 3 teams in the AFC East with a legitimate chance to win the division. In the past few years, I believe the AFC East has been a bit overrated. They lucked out in scheduling, and each AFC East team has been among the lowest ranking strength of schedules for a few years in a row. That's all changing this year. They have a pretty rough draw - playing the NFC and AFC North. Fortunately there is somewhat of a counterbalance as I do believe the AFC East is more talented this year than they have been in the past. Naturally, I'm forced into picking one team above the others, which will invariably piss people off, ruffle feathers, and make people wish serious harm upon me. Let the good times roll- I'm breaking down each team, and see how they're going to fare this year...

Buffalo Bills

Remember a couple years ago when Buffalo was the trendy pick to turn the corner and challenge the Patriots? Well, I didn't believe in them then, and I certainly don't believe in them now. Offensively, they're a joke - and a bad joke at that. They have holes and needs all throughout their roster, and during the draft, they go out and target the one position that they probably were the deepest at - RB. Think about that.... Suppose you owned a car with a bad engine, but good tires. The solution to fix the car (according to the Bills) is to purchase an even newer, better set of tires and assume the car's going to keep running. I'm sorry, but until CJ Spiller lines up at QB, this team is still going to suck.

"Welp, a couple of Good Years outta do it."

-Buddy Nix, G.M. Buffalo Bills

The Bills do have a defensive core that has shown promise in stretches (lots of turnovers, some pretty good games throughout the past few years), but they just forced their best pass rusher to retire, and they still can't figure out how to stop the run. Byrd is a stud, and he's going to be huge for them in the future, but this team is still years away. Their defense gave up nearly 600 yards rushing to the Jets last year. That's absurd. You simply can't do that and be competitive in this league.

Prediction: With their schedule, I see them winning about 3 games.... and that could be being generous. They'll sneak 1 or maybe 2 away from teams in their division, and then maybe beat the Chiefs, Lions, or Browns. Unless CJ Spiller can carry the ball 25+ times a game and break 1 or 2 huge runs each half, I can't picture them being competitive this year.

Miami Dolphins

The Dolphins seem to be the forgotten team in the AFC East. The Jets are everyones trendy Super Bowl Pick, the Patriots are the Patriots, and the Bills are going to suck. In case you need to be reminded, the Dolphins won the division just 2 years ago... sadly, they're also the football team that went 1-15 just 1 year before that. This offseason, they gave their promising, young QB a legitimate target in Brandon Marshall, and have a duo of RB's who are vastly underrated. They're flying under the radar a bit, and I tend to like that in teams. Their defense is better than you'd expect, but they have some issues in the secondary, and they need a few playmakers to force more turnovers.

The Dolphins this year are like the pretty, nerdy girl from high school. Some days you'd look at her and wonder why you never made a move... then she'd do/say something completely weird, and you'd remember why you never talked to her. The Dolphins are the same way - at a glance, they're looking pretty good. However, there's just something about them that keeps me away from them. Take a look at their last two seasons. Besides divisional opponents, they haven't beat a single team with a winning record. Not one. Now take a look at their first 9 games: Bills, Vikes, Jets, New England, Green Bay, Pittsburgh (possibly with Roethlisberger), Cincinnati, Baltimore, and Tennessee. Of those teams, only the Bills were under .500 last year. The Dolphins are a decent team, and they will be competitive, but they simply aren't good enough to consistently beat good teams. If Henne can put it all together this year, it will be a different story, but I simply don't see it yet.

Prediction: Their tough opening has the potential to get ugly fast. It wouldn't be out of the question to see them have a season similar to the Panthers or Titans of last year, where they start off pretty bad, but pull it together down the stretch. Unfortunately, it's too little, too late. 7-9 finish. Miss the playoffs.

New England Patriots

I'll be perfectly honest with you - I hate the Patriots. Maybe it's jealousy. Maybe it's Tom Brady's haircut.

You decide...

However, as much as I hate them, I can't deny how incredibly talented they've been for over a decade. It's really amazing. You may question certain players/aspects of the team (I still believe that Brady is a decent QB in a great system), but you can't deny that the Patriots are going to be competitive, and probably make the playoffs.

That being said, this is not the same team any more. Sure, some of the faces are the same, but how much turnover has there been since their last Super Bowl? In 2007, the Pats were a beast - however, their defense was an aging dinosaur. While no one had an answer to their offense that year, their defense was sneakily soft - they had holes that they stuffed players out of retirement into. When teams were able to slow down their offense, their defense became exposed. While they've gotten away with it for a few years, they can't do it forever, and last years draft was pretty much unimpressive. Sure they had as many draft picks as Anthony Cromartie has illegitimate children, but how many of them are really making an impact? Aside from Jerod Mayo and Brendan Merriweather (both of whom were first round picks by the way), the Patriots have struck out pretty bad the past few years. If some of those "quantity over quality" picks don't step up this year, it could mean the end of the era.

Prediction: On the otherhand, this is still the Patriots. They still have Tom Brady. They still have Wes Welker, and they still have Randy Moss. Bottom Line - they can still win football games. Yes, the defense will struggle, and yes, I don't trust the offensive line as much as I did a few years back, and I can say the same thing about Brady. This may be a "worse" year than the Patriots are used to, but even so, they'll compete for the division. They finish at 10-6, but lose in tie breakers.

The New York Jets

Let's hear the hype-monger grow.... according to many, the Jets are the Super Bowl favorites this year - they had an impressive post-season run last year, and they improved in their weakest area by adding Santonio Holmes. Pending the return of Revis, this defense should be unbreakable again.

While I do enjoy Rex Ryan, and the team is making Hard Knocks both watchable and memorable, I have a lot of doubts about this football team. It's funny because I normally love teams in their position. They have a great offensive line, a great defense, a powerful rushing attack, and a young, developing QB.... What's not to love?

Well, I am not a Mark Sanchez believer. Wait. Scratch that. I do believe in him.... I just believe he sucks. While he had a few good games last year, he had many, many more awful ones. Even with a mediocre QB leading that offense last year, the Jets were an 11 win football team. Give Sanchez the keys, and they had to sneak into the playoffs by beating the Bengals and Colts backups in the final two weeks of the season. He's basically the perfect storm of everything I don't trust in QB's - he's been very inaccurate, he makes awful decisions, and now he's being hyped up way too much way too fast.

Suppose the Jets missed the playoffs last year (they damn near did). What would you think about Mark Sanchez given his performance through the 16 game regular season? I know I'd be far from impressed with it - if I were a Jet's fan, I'd even say I was disappointed. In my opinion, playing an extra couple of decent games doesn't make that big of a difference, even if it is the playoffs. Sure, it's good experience for a young player, and it will help him later in his career, but it's foolish to think he's suddenly going to be playing at a high level - and his preseason performances are just reinforcing my point. Even in the playoffs last year, when Sanchez had his good games, he really only handed the ball off against the Bengals, and it took approximately 30 missed field goals by the Chargers to give the Jets a chance to sneak by them. If this team had picked up McNabb this offseason, I'd consider them a shoo-in for the Super Bowl. With Sanchez, they need to work to make the playoffs.

The Jets are a decent, but unspectacular QB away from being a dominant football team, and I don't think Sanchez can be that guy. At least not yet. Combine that with the loss of both Washington and Thomas Jones, and then factor in that Revis may not play, and you are left with quite a few questions, especially for a team that nearly lost twice to the pitiful Bills last year....

Prediction: Even with Sanchez and without Revis, I think the Jets have a talent level about equal to the Patriots right now. The difference maker will be their schedule - They probably have the easiest in the AFC East, with the exception of the Bills. They ride it out to a 10-6 finish, and take the division.

Fantasy Football: The Hype Monger

So I play fantasy football…Only 3 leagues or so (for now). But the Hype of pre-draft research consumes me. I check sites, pre-rank, re-rank, and continuously reevaluate players before training camp even starts. If I was more committed I might just wear a Mel Kiper Jr. wig as I feel a relative kinship to his pre-nfl draft routine as to my fantasy leagues.

And I know what you’re thinking. Jimi, you are such a cool, hip, good looking, entertaining, well-endowed guy! Why do you waste so much of your uber-valuable time with fantasy football?

Well friend who is over-complementary (yet very good at building my confidence) I like the competitive aspect as well as having a good reason to watch games I wouldn’t usually watch. I do have some issues with it though which can best be conveyed in a Seinfeldian "Whats the Deal with that?" rant…

Why do they call it fantasy football (ovaltine)? Where are the endorsement deals, and commercial offers? Isn’t the fantasy to PLAY pro football? Not just sit around on the couch drinking beer and checking your iphone every 6 minutes to see if Peyton Manning threw for another 6 yards to make a bonus 2 points for you to win your week? Maybe it’s just me but when I first heard about it, images were evoked of all star teams battling on the grid iron, not hours spent surfing the internet to determine what round I should draft my 4^thrunning back (although its a great way to get away from you girlfriend for some "private internet time"). ===No honey, i'm sweaty from all the mock drafts I was involved in. The lotion on my hands? Wellllll i was doing a lot of clicking so i wanted to avoid dry skin. Yeah, sometimes I click lefty too. ===

The fact of the matter is I love hype. Because it allows me to mess with people. I love when 4 people say Shonn Greene is going to shred teams then I pipe up that LT "might steal a few TD's" and suddenly no one is into him anymore. The most fun is to plant the seed of doubt in someone and see them anguish over a pick in the tenth round when they will likely drop the guy in week 3 anyway. Things like "He's falling on the depth chart." "Did you see him in preseason?" and "the coach doesnt trust him in a big spot." People yell about stats over the past 5 years, strength of schedule, and contract year players. Maybe my biggest complaint is Where has the "fantasy" aspect gone? I should want to draft because i want to see him play well for me, just not because a guy had 1,150 yards vs the next guy who had 1,147 yards. I should want to draft Peyton Manning because dammit I love to see the guy compete, rather than waiting 6 rounds to roll the dice on a guy I will never watch. I should want to draft guys on my favorite team, instead of being chastised as "homer" for picking a guy I would prefer to watch score TD's for my real team and my fantasy team. Yet I still go with the stats, trends, and hype!

Maybe its just a guy thing that has evolved into an ultra-competitive money sport rather than the traditional sense of fantasy. Just because I like the Steelers and Ben "Rape-lisberger" doesn't mean I am stupid enough to draft him early while he sits a few games. When it comes down to it, the best fantasy football players are not likely to be ex-football players with passion for the game, but rather Wall Street types with no regard for the name on the jersey, ready to buy low and sell high (If you do it the other way you could work for AIG).

Luckily, the great equalizers are the players. After all that research, talking to friends about who they do and don't like, these million dollar athletes have to show up, stay healthy, and perform (sounds like what my girlfriend asks of me on a Friday night). Coaches call the plays, not us fans, and that makes it frustrating yet gripping. Because for every guy that wants the coach to go for it on 4th and 1 on the goal line, someone else has the teams kicker hoping to snag 3.

So as the Fantasy Football season nears, do your homework, say your prayers that the Injury fairy doesn't get her wings, and draft with your heart as well as your head. Its more fun that way and no one knows how guys are going to do year to year anyway! Gather with your friends in a dingy basement, wear similar clothing, and speak in terms no one else understands like ADP and PPR. After all, Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for jocks.

Random Ramblings, Part 2

Whats up kids.  Not enough going on for a specific post, so I decided to go with some random ramblings.  NFL preview coming soon.

I could fall asleep on that.

1) This Reggie Bush shit is annoying.  There is absolutely no way the kid should have to give up his Heismann, and the Heismann committee should not be allowed to take it back.  I don't care if he took money, got his rent paid, got his bills paid, got free handjobs, whatever... he earned the Heismann on the field.  Agents didn't score his TDs for him.  Agents didn't break his big, exciting runs for him.  I understand the school giving their copy up.  They have to try to remove the stain of the events from their reputation.  Alot of sports writers and analysts are saying stripping him of his Heismann would "send a message" to other recruits in the future.  No, it won't.  If kids need money, and they're offered it, they're gonna take it.  Treating one athlete who made the mistake completely unfairly will not change that.  The idea of him having to give up his accolades that he EARNED for an immature mistake (that most of us would make, I might add) is bullshit to me.  The guy already lost Kim Kardashian's ass.  He's suffered enough.

2) This Ilya Kovalchuk situation... the NHL messed up.  Yea, so maybe the Devils were trying to skirt around the salary cap a little bit.  Isn't that what ownership is supposed to do?  Sure, the cap is there to even the field.  But realistically, no field is even.  If Kovalchuk & the Devils found a way to fulfill both of their needs without a blatant breaking of rules, what's wrong with that?  Plenty of teams have done similar things recently.  It's not like they signed him to the minimum and offered him cash under the table on the side.  That I could see shutting down.  Plus, who is the NHL to say that neither side reasonably believed it would finish out the length of the contract?  Maybe Kovalchuk wants to play until he's 44.  I'm just saying.  If what they did is completely unacceptable, make a rule against it (and i mean a real rule with solid boundaries and no grey area), and punish everyone else who's done something similar.  I applaud the Devils & Kovalchuk's people for finding a deal like this that worked for both sides.  The NHL people are just mad they found a way around things.  I hope the NHLPA decides to fight this.

3) Floyd Mayweather is officially a fucking pussy.  When this fight was initially gonna go down, I would've bet alot of money on Pretty Boy Floyd to win.  Now, if they end up fighting, you couldn't get me to bet on Mayweather no matter what the odds.  This whole fiasco just means to me that he's scared of Pacquiao and knows he'll lose.  At first, I was like, okay, you want this and you want that, Manny won't do it, so fuck him don't fight him.  But Manny's camp has now met Floyd's in the middle; in fact, they've almost come completely to Floyd's terms.  And he STILL won't agree to a fight.  He's barely even talking about it.  Now admittedly I'm not a huge boxing fan, but I'm pretty sure a win over Pacquiao would solidify Mayweather as one of the best fighters ever.  Now?  He's a mouthpiece with a real good record who backed down when it came time to define his career.  What a bitch.

Mayweather's nightmares.

4) Why doesn't T.O. have a job yet?  Seriously.  Why not.  All you Eagles fans can shut the fuck up for a second, and think realistically.  Numbers wise, the guy is one of the best ever to do it.  And he's not that old.  Is he really still that much a headcase?  It's a shame people don't forget stuff.  I think if a good team snatches him up, they can push themselves over the edge toward contention.  I just don't get why he's still jobless.  He's at least better than 50% of the WRs who have jobs in the NFL right now.  Even if he does occasionally cry.

5) These comments from Nick Saban, where he called agents "pimps", are just so fucking laughable to me.  First of all, Saban has been around football (and specifically college football) for awhile now.  I'm sure he's seen plenty of wrongdoing and turned his head to it.  Now suddenly he's on a high horse and is disgusted by these agents?  I'd be willing to bet some of them have helped him before.  And besides, the recruiting that him and his staff does... how is that any different from what the agents do?  Sure, he probably doesn't hand them cash, or cars, or jewelry, or whatever.  But he hands them a free education.  And free training to make the money to buy those things.  Saban is a hypocrite. 

6) Karl Malone has proven to me, once and for all, that he's a classless piece of shit.  As a kid, I always hated him while he was playing, but I figured it was just because I was an MJ & a Bulls fan.  Then he pulled a Lebron-and-Bosh before Lebron-and-Bosh and joined a Lakers team that was stacked with talent just to try and coast to a championship.  Karma got him on that one.  Then as I grew up I started to hear all the stuff about how he has kids that he refuses to acknowledge.  And I just read the final nail in the coffin for the Mailman.  He has selected Willis Reed to present him at his Hall of Fame induction next month.  WHAT?  When you think Karl Malone, what pops into your head?  Exactly.  John Stockton.  Now I'm not saying Karl isn't good, but you could argue that Stockton had as much to do with Karl's success as Malone himself did.  So why not Stockton?  Or AT LEAST Jerry Sloan?  Willis and Malone never played together; Reed retired 10 years before Malone entered the NBA.  Karl's reasoning?  "He grew up 5 miles from me" and "I've always respected him."  So why not pick the guy who pumps gas in your neighborhood.  If I'm Stockton, I take this as a slap in the face.  You stay classy, Karl Malone.

I'm done.  Tune in soon for my NFL preview. 

Beisbol Has Been Berry Berry Good To Me.

First off... sorry it's been so long.  Had alot of shit going on.  I promise to be back more regularly.  I know you missed me.


For my triumphant return, I'd like to take a look at my preseason MLB predictions and see how I'm faring so far.  Read it real quick, brush up on what I said, and prepare to be amazed.  Basically, this will mostly serve as a way for me to prove I'm smarter than you, and most of the sportswriters you like to follow.  That way, you'll keep coming back here, and I'll have you right where I want you.



Let's break this down by division and compare my predictions with the actual current standings.  Then I'll throw a couple comments in there, give a revised decision if necessary, say who I think is the most important player in the division for the 2nd half, and grade myself based on how well my predictions match up.


AL EAST:

Sick:       Yanks, Red Sox, Rays, O's, BJs
Current:  Yanks, Rays, Red Sox, BJs, O's

My thoughts:  Mostly how I imagined it.  The Yanks are in 1st, as they should be.  I knew the Rays would be good (I said I thought they were a top 5 team in all of baseball), but I also said I didn't think they'd last in the top 2 of this division.  I still don't.  As of now, Boston is only 3 games behind them.  And as much as I despise the Sox, they have had the worst run of injuries I've ever seen.  Once they get healthy (if they do) the Rays are in trouble.  Especially since I see them making a move before the trade deadline.  And even moreso because Big Sloppy is somehow back from the dead.  As for the bottom of the division, I'll admit 2 things.  First, I gotta give the BlowJays some credit.  I expected them to really fall apart, and somehow they've actually been decent.  Vernon Wells almost earned a couple dollars of his enormously bad contract.  Second, the Orioles are wayyyy worse than I thought they'd be.  No clue what I was thinking.  One of the worst squads I've seen in my life.
Revision?  Not really.  The Yanks will still win this division.  The Sox will eventually take 2nd and the Wild Card.  Consider this:  the Rays have been perfect-gamed twice in a year (by Mark Buehrle last year and fucking Dallas Braden this year) AND were no-hit by Edwin Jackson earlier this season as well.  That doesn't seem to be a team ready to win it all to me.
Most important 2nd half player:  Joba.  The Yanks need to solidify their bullpen.  Their offense, starting pitching, and Mo have been just fine.  Gotta bridge that gap.
My grade:  A

AL CENTRAL:
Sick:       White Sox, Tigers, Twins, Indians, Royals
Current:  White Sox, Tigers, Twins, Royals, Indians
My thoughts:  Eerily similar, isn't it?  You can commence blowing me virally at any moment.  Seriously though... so far, the AL Central is making me look like Sicktradamus.  It's very, very close at the top right now, but I think the White Sox can hold it off.  The deciding factor will probably be if one (or more) of the top 3 make a move.  I think it'll be like a domino effect though; if one of them does some sort of roster shuffle, the other 2 will try to follow suit to keep up.  I also want to give myself a big pat on the back for specifically mentioning that I thought Alex Rios would have a great year.  His current numbers?  Batting .305, 15 HR, 49 RBI, 23 SB.  I'd say a .300/30HR/100RBI/40SB season isn't out of reach, and I'd also say I was right.
Revision?  No way.  I hit the nail on the head so far with this division.  Gotta stick with my gut.
Most important 2nd half player:  Mark Buehrle & Gavin Floyd.  Especially with Peavy going down.  The Sox need their starters to hold up in order to hold on to their lead.
My grade:  A++++

AL WEST:

Sick:       Rangers, Mariners, Angels, A's
Current:  Rangers, Angels, A's, Mariners
My thoughts:  Seriously, you can stop bowing to me.  Just finish reading and then worship.  This was a division that nearly everyone in the world was calling for the Mariners, and the few people who weren't were saying LA.  Well fuck you all.  I knew this Texas offense would be serious.  I even specifically predicted that the Rangers would make a major move for a pitcher... and they went and got Cliff Lee, the trade deadline's biggest catch.  I'll admit I drank the Mariners Kool-Aid a little bit, picking them to finish 2nd, but hey I'm still mostly human.  And I always foolishly underestimate Mike Scioscia.  However, him and the rest of the Angels brass underestimated my favorite ballplayer ever, Vlad the Impaler, and now he's helping their rivals beat them.  I said in my preview I'd take an aging Vlad 11 times out of 10 over Hideki Matsui, and I still stand by it.
Revision?  Not at the top.  I still think the Rangers win out, especially with the Lee addition strengthening their pitching staff.  But I expect the Mariners to stay on the bottom, so I was a little off there.
Most important 2nd half player:  It's too obvious to say Cliff Lee, so I'm gonna go with Josh Hamilton.  Seems to me that as he goes, so goes this offense.  If they score runs like they can when he's hot, they're tough to beat.
My grade:  A-


NL EAST:
Sick:       Phils, Marlins, Braves, Mets, Nats
Current:  Braves, Mets, Phils, Marlins, Nats
My thoughts:  No one saw this one coming.  While I will pat myself on the back for predicting the Braves would put a scare into the Phils, I also didn't think it would be a legitimate threat.  Congrats to Bobby Cox, even though I'm pretty sure he's an Avatar at this point and some young manager is controlling his body.  I thought the Marlins would be better, but aside from Josh Johnson (the best pitcher in baseball?), they're pretty much worthless.  Someone needs to smack Hanley Ramirez around a little bit and get him motivated.
Revision?  A little bit.  I still see the Phils pulling it together.  That offense is just too good.  I doubt it'll be by the at-least-7-game margin I had foreseen, however.  The Marlins disappoint me & definitely won't finish anywhere near the top 3 here.  If the Mets make a major pitching move (Dan Haren?), they'll battle with the Braves right down to the wire for 2nd.  I think the Wild Card probably comes from here.
Most important 2nd half player:  Gotta be Billy Wagner.  Now I didn't think he was entirely done... but I didn't think he had this much left in him.  20 saves, 5 wins, 56 K and 20 H in 37.1 IP, 1.21 ERA, and only 3 BS.  If he keeps that up, the Braves will, too.
My grade:  B-

NL CENTRAL:

Sick:       Cards, Brewcrew, Cubs, Reds, Stros, Pirates
Current:  Reds, Cards, Brewcrew, Cubs, Stros, Pirates
My thoughts:  Another one that very few people saw coming... maybe even moreso.  I said the Reds would be decent, but would underachieve.  So far they've overachieved like a motherfucker.  They're only one game up on St. Louis though, which to me means that they are one major injury or one serious Cardinals run away from blowing it.  I did say the Cubs would implode completely, and at 11 games under .500 with a continuing Zambrano situation, they certainly have.  The Brewers disappoint me and really aren't in the hunt here at all.  Yea, a great offense, but it's not doing them much good.
Revision?  Not so much.  I'll stick with the Cards winning eventually, but much props the Reds so far.  If they can keep it up they'll really make it hard for the Cards.  Personally I think they'll end up 6 or 7 games behind St. Louis.
Most important 2nd half player:  The whole Reds squad.  I just don't see it happening.  I hope they prove me wrong.
My grade:  C

NL WEST: 
Sick:        Rockies, Dodgers, Giants, DBacks, Padres
Current:  Padres, Dodgers, Rockies, Giants, DBacks
My thoughts:  Wow.  Seriously?  The Padres?  I say it's a fluke.  Don't know how the fuck they've managed to hang around like this.  But the Dodgers & Rockies are both only 2 games back, and the Giants are within 4.  I was way off on the Padres though... even if they don't end up at the top of this division, I said they'd battle for the worst record in baseball.  And you wonder why I saved this division for last.
Revision?  Partially, but not at the top.  I'm going to stick with the Rockies winning.  But I do foresee the Padres continuing to give them trouble.  This might be another division that'll come down to trades.  One of these teams COULD win the Wild Card... but I'll say it'll probably be an NL East team.
Most important 2nd half player:  Every Rockies pitcher that isn't Jimenez.  A couple of those guys gotta step up and help him shoulder the load.
My grade:  B-

Overall, I'll give myself an A-.  I nailed the AL, which is really all that matters because who truly gives a fuck about the NL.  And even the stuff I missed in the NL is because of some serious surprises.  The Reds, Braves, and Padres as division leaders?  If you can find me just ONE 2010 MLB preview that predicted that, I'll buy the guy a case of beer.  I'm still proud of myself for the Rangers/White Sox calls.  Don't think I deserve an A-?  Fuck you.  I'm the one doing the grading here.


My other predictions were mostly shit, but whatever.  Halladay could still win the NL Cy Young, but it'll probably be Ubaldo "Where the fuck did I come from" Jimenez or Josh Johnson.  Greinke is definitely not winning the AL one;  if i had to re-choose I'd say Lester, CC, or Cliff.  I'll still pick a non-Pooholes player to win NL MVP, and while I am not too confident of ARod winning in the AL that is very up-in-the-air right now.  And Cano will still win the AL batting title.  I have to be right on that eventually. Oh yea... and it's going to be hilarious when Ron Washington wins AL Manager of the Year the same year he admitted he was a blowhound.


I'm still standing by my Yanks/Rangers/Cards/Phils final 4, with the Yanks honoring the late great Mr. Steinbrenner and repeating at the expense of the Cardinals.  We'll see. 


See you at the ballgame.

World Cup Fever? America has the Vaccine

Like most American kids I instinctively respond to the sound of an ice cream truck and didn't grow up in a culture that was very friendly to Soccer. I played in the little kids league when it was basically 20 kids all crowded around the ball while each goalie (me) sat in the net picking their nose until the moment of sheer terror when a shot is fired and I hope it doesn't roll through my legs and make me look like an IDIOT!

Indoor soccer was another thing though. Most fun you can have in a gym with your pants on. Banking it off the walls, etc. Hitting parents "by accident" in the stands to the one side. If it wasn't for all the stoppage for those darn "High Kicks!" but I digress...

I don't know if Soccer will every really catch on in the US, but watching the US team in the World Cup was contagious before they got eliminated. My Patriotic side said, “Rah Rah America! Let’s win the whole damn thing!” Just like the Olympics, I don't care what sport it is, just beat everyone else even if it’s with a Triple Salchow (Lutz?). If they are communist then do it for democracy. If they are dictatorship, do it for Freedom. If they are France or the Middle east, just do it (Nike plug). People get together at bars and houses to cheer on our boys and crack on Ghana's lack of fashion sense with their uniforms...although their fans have carte blanche to dress like witch doctors. I think college basketball is the closest an analogy I can draw to World Cup soccer. There are qualifiers and then tournament style single elimination. People dress in their supporting colors and look extremely disappointed when their team loses, because they know they have to return to real life. On the World Stage of soccer we aren't Duke, UNC, Kentucky, Kansas. We aren’t even Butler who was a preseason top 15. We're more like Gonzaga. We have a good shot at making the Sweet 16, but no shot to win it all. I root for Gonzaga in the tourney because they are a bunch of undersized, not so athletic guys from Washington State that can't dunk, yet they find their way in every year. That’s just like the US. No real stars...Landon Donovan is good for an American but not World Class. He is Adam Morrison sans bad teenage moustache.

Then there's my pessimistic side. The side that says hockey has too many ties (shootouts not withstanding), but enough fights to get by. Whereas soccer is slower, and when they get hit they fall on the ground and stay down to try to draw a penalty. This kind of behavior is the antithesis of American Sport. We hate European "floppers" in the NBA, so I don't need to watch even lesser known guys (by American standards) do it every 4 years.

Soccer/Futbol/Footie will never be an epidemic in this country because it's not "our" sport. As a fairly young country (not even 250 years) we often use sport as cultural identification and pride. Baseball. Ours. Abner Doubleday. Sunday afternoons. Hot dogs. National Pastime. It may be slow at times on tv, but it is tied to our national identity. And Football. Cold, windy gridiron. Longball. Bone crushing hits. Tailgate parties. Betting and Fantasy are just the icing on the cake. Those are American sports.

Maybe the simple answer is we created the other sports so we would immediately be the best at them. Make new rules that suit your style. Instant home court advantage! Why work your way up the international ladder when you can just make a new ladder altogether?

After this year’s hype and advancement to the round of 16, the US might be gaining ground in the soccer world, but its not yet a major player. Whether we need an influx of international talent, a homegrown superstar, or just a monetary incentive it seems like soccer fever is more of the sniffles that a full blown epidemic.

Is Hockey Still Going On?

Live Hockey is one of the most thrilling sports events i've ever been to. Fast, Fights, and Drunkeness. Its freakin' May. Flowers are in bloom and girls are wearing skimpy clothing. Spring has sprung and they are moist and wanting. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Hockey. Its still going on! We aren't even to the finals yet! They should start the Hockey Season earlier in the year so i can watch it tuesday-Friday nights when there is nothing watch on ESPN besides the same old football speculation. How many ways can John Clayton (the ESPN analyst I would vote "most likely to have a wierd sexual fetish") report on the same reasons why the Lions will lose the weekend? People that love baseball rarely love Hockey. dunno why. Start it in October when the baseball playoffs are going on. Finish in Early April. Barry Melrose cut your hair. You're welcome America.

Why the Eagles Won't Make the Playoffs...

As an Eagles fan, I can't remember a recent offseason where I've been so uncertain about what to expect from the team. For the past decade or so, fans have been pretty spoiled - at a minimum, we've gotten competitive teams year in and year out, had a franchise QB, a vastly underrated and versatile RB, one of the best defensive leaders and players in the game, and one of the brightest defensive minds in football. Suddenly I've woken up, and it's 2010 - our franchise QB has been traded to a division rival, our versatile RB can't find a job anywhere (even as a backup!), our defensive captain is making pro bowls for the Broncos, and our blitz-happy coordinator passed away a year ago.... I can't help but sit back and look at all of this and wonder what the hell happened.... This upcoming season has me more anxious than a drunk girl alone with Ben Roethlisberger.

Pictured: Any drunk girl within a 30 mile radius of Roethlisberger

It's not that I think the Eagles will be bad - I think they'll be a decent team. But I don't think they'll be as good as many Philly faithful believe that they will be. Let's take a look at the following reasons as to why they won't make the playoffs....

1) McNabb is gone.

Now, I do believe that sending McNabb on his way was the right move. Kolb is ready to lead this team, and I think eventually, Kolb will be a good to very good QB in this league. He showed in limited playing time last year that he has the ability to be a successful QB at this level. However, he also made it pretty clear that he has a lot to learn too (his turnovers against the Saints ruined any chance of winning that game). Even so, he moved the ball easily and kept the Eagles competitive for 1/2 a game against the Super Bowl Champs, and he absolutely lit up a piss-poor KC defense. It's hard to fault him too much for his performances there. On top of that, Kevin Kolb is pretty goddamn badass. Seriously. The dude hunts wild boar using "a 12 inch bowie knife and a couple of dogs." I don't know what more I could ask for in a QB... .

"I am all that is man."

So if I'm so high on Kolb, why am I so low on the Eagles? Well, Kolb's going to be making his 3rd start this September. He's surrounded by a very, very young offense, and a line that could be a bit shaky to start the season. No Westbrook. No veteran WR to help him. No veteran QB to mentor him. I think Kolb is going to have a few games this year where he kills the Eagles, much like he does wild hogs....

They have no idea how fuckin dead they are

That's not to say it will be all his fault, but you don't go from a consistent, careful QB like McNabb to an unproven guy like Kolb without suffering a bit of a setback. That being said, I do think Kolb will be a very good QB in a couple of years. Elite? I wouldn't go that far, but good enough to win a lot of games and be productive - I picture him being similar to Schaub in Houston. Keeping all this in mind, if Kolb comes out and plays a couple of great games early next year, fully expect me to have a gigantic man-crush on him and to defend him fiercer than I defend Chase Utley's ability to pick up chicks.

2) Their depth on the offensive line. In short, I don't like it. You have Peters, Herremans, Cole, Stacey Andrews, and Winston Justice penciled in as starters across the line. If either of the tackles go down, the starting guards can slip out to play tackle, and Max "The Sloth" Jean-Gilles comes in at guard. If Nick Cole gets injured, I don't even know what the hell happens. Seriously. I think we just forfeit the season. Even without Cole getting injured, I don't particularly like him starting at center, but quite frankly, we don't have any other options. I know we added several undrafted rookie linemen, but even so, I had more confidence in the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi than I do in our linemen off the bench.... I mean seriously - an army of "elite" soldiers armed with advanced weaponry versus a group of these guys wielding sticks?!?

Ewoks - Adorable, yet deadly

3) A Suspect Secondary Sheldon Brown has been our toughest corner for awhile now, and the Eagles sent him packing this year for a limited return (in my opinion). Many people will point out that we have perennial pro bowler Asante Samuel starting at corner, but in my opinion, he's much better suited as a #2 corner because he's a high risk, high reward player, and then on top of that, he is next to useless against the run. Aside from Samuel, the Eagles have a host of guys who are borderline (at best) starters - Marlin Jackson (who may be kept out at CB rather than moving to safety), Ellis Hobbs is coming back from an injury that was a borderline career ender, Macho Harris should be moving back out to corner, Joselio Hansen is a decent nickelback, but you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who wants him to start for their team... Beyond that it's all rookies. Combine that with a rookie starting at safety (or even he may move out to corner!), and you have to wonder how this secondary is going to hold up against the powerhouse offense at Dallas, who just supplemented a strong offense with the best WR in the draft. True, the Eagles drafted some pass rushers to help mask their weak secondary, but even so, with rookie pass rushers (especially undersized ones) you never know what you're going to get.

4) Suspect Run Defense The Eagles have brought in a few undersized DE's through the draft, and they brought in Ernie Sims, a smallish LB who struggles against the run. And, depending upon who you ask, the rookie Allen also struggles against the run.... Fuckin great. Do you want to see Brandon Jacobs running against that defense twice a year? How about Tashard Choice, Felix Jones, and Marion Barber? Then there's the All-Madden 2006 RB trio of Clinton Portis, Larry Johnson, and Willie Parker... speaking of Madden 2006, who was on that cover?

Oh, that's right...

5) A Tough Division

The Cowboys improved this offseason - their offense looks deadly (assuming their line gels okay), and as blatantly evident in the final two games vs the Cowboys, the Eagles matchup awful against them. The Redskins also improved - they got themselves a bargain QB who excels with little surrounding talent, and quite frankly, they had the talent level of a .500ish team last year, and their major flaw (a coach who is a friggin retard) has been addressed.

Pictured: Jim Zorn (Citation Needed)

The Giants really aren't that much different than the team that won the Super Bowl a few years back. And this is a division that many people already considered the best in the league before this offseason.... It's not exactly an ideal situation.

6) A Tough Schedule They get the AFC South and NFC North in addition to a tough division. Ouch. The Colts, the underrated Titans and Texans, then the up and coming Packers, the strong Vikings, and the questionable Bears... It doesn't help that the end of the schedule is the toughest stretch - honestly I'd trade the Eagles schedule in for any one else's this year. On a brighter note, they do get to play the Lions once...

7) Leadership Issues The Eagles are a young team. Absurdly young. The only non-kicker on their team who will be 29 or older when the season starts is Jaqua Parker, who has an outside chance of being cut anyway. Their offense is led by a first year QB and features a lot of young WR's. Aside from Herremans, I don't think any of their offensive linemen have the experience or tenacity to be a leader. Defensively, I trust Stewart Bradley to be the leader, but he even only has 1 real year of playing time. There's no more Westbrook, McNabb, Dawkins, or even Trotter.

I think the Eagles are going to start the season off pretty strong - Look for them to be about 5-2 heading into the bye week. From there, the shit is going to hit the fan. They close out the season about 3-6 and finish right around .500.

I'm hoping this team gels midseason, hits stride, and doesn't look back, but I'm just not that optimistic... at least not yet. I think they finish 8-8 and miss the playoffs.

Matt Millen is a DUFUS (DUmb FUcking Stooge)

I watched all of Round 5 of the NFL Draft. Every pick. (Get a Life, its round 5) The Steelers had 4 picks in it and i was hungover! (Off wine coolers) With the exception of the ever pompous Eagles homer Ron Jaworski (this douche has a mailbox at his house that is in the shape of a golfball) i find the ESPN panel soothing when combined with ginger ale and a banana (a widely regarding hangover cure). Speaking of Jaws (writing of Jaws...thinking of watching JAWS), there was a moment around pick 150 or so where ESPN cut to Kirk Herbstreit and Matt Millen to chat about college football, now that Millen is on that show and not MNF. A comment was made that Jaws likes Fried Boloney (not Bologna) sandwiches and Millen replies that this is typical of "A Pollack from Buffalo" (or something like that...it definately included Pollack and Buffalo) He followed it with a deep gutteral laugh (like he just saw someone get hit in the nuts). About six to ten more picks were made and ESPN cuts to Matt Millen again, sitting alone this time. He then apologizes (in the tone of a young child whose just been scolded) for the comment saying he "didn't mean anything negative to toward Jaws (he can't go down with three barrels...not with three he can't!) or persons of Polish decent." As much as i wanted him to commit career suicide by backhandedly insulting all of Eastern Europe and the recently deceased Polish President i think I just felt sorry for the guy. He almost single handedly ran the Lions into the ground despite a bunch of consecutive top 10 picks (lets get another WR). He was on MNF and now is kicked down to College Football Live (he likes wearing funny hats with Lee Corso). What does this guy have that people keep hiring him or just keeping him around? A great agent? Blackmail on everyone at the Lions and ESPN? (Naked pictures of Erin Andrews) Millen is a Dufus and if it wasnt for Joe Buck, Tim McCarver and Joe Theisman, he would be my least favorite sports tv personality (excluding women and Pollacks).

Random thoughts on a big sports night

Didn't have the motivation to do a full post on any of these topics (NFL draft, NBA/NHL playoffs, etc.), so I decided to just throw together a list of the things that popped into my head last night as I watched a very busy night in sports unfold.

1.  Erin Andrews is a Goddess.  I know, it's been said.  But I think as men we need to band together to free that dude who got in trouble for snapping the nude pics/video for her.  Didn't he do us a service?  Didn't he do what EVERY SINGLE one of us would've done?  He's not a creep to me, he's a hero.

                                                      Practice, baby, practice

2.  I feel bad for the Pirates.  20-0?  Seriously?  That's like high-school-basketball-controversy bad.  I'm usually of the opinion that if you're making millions you had better suck it up and play your sport no matter what.  But I doubt I'd be able to muster up any enthusiasm during an ass-kicking like that.  Rough few weeks for Pittsburgh sports fans in general.  Hey, there's always the Penguins!
3.  That A-Rod/Dallas Braden shit is hilarious.  I love how A-Rod took sly shots at him in his response, mentioning Braden's "handful" of wins.  I also love that Braden didn't back down in his response.  He complimented the Yanks and simultaneously insulted A-Rod and said there would be "repercussions".   Personally, I'm not fuckin with a dude named Dallas Braden.  Sounds like a Chuck Norris character.
4.  Lebron James is not a human.  At the very least, he's not the same breed as us.  Proof of evolution maybe.

5.  Everyone I know who likes the NBA hates Joakim Noah... except for me.  Love the guy.  Yeah, he's ugly.  But homeboy's got skills.  Seems like he could've been an 80's Pistons Bad Boy to me.  Just fights for everything.
6.  Speaking of the Bulls, Derrick Rose is the future of the point guard position in the NBA.  Sorry, Deron Williams.  If Chris Paul doesn't come back with a vengeance from his injury next year, it's all yours D-Rose.  The kid's the truth.
7.  A few years ago, just about everyone I know (with the exception of Dave Wetzel) was under the mass delusion that Greg Oden was the surefire #1 pick over Kevin Durant.  Well, motherfuckers, I hate to say I told you so... wait, what the fuck am I saying?  I LOVE saying I told you so.  And I did.  Oden could be a top 5 center right now and I'm still right.
8.  Quick hockey thought:  I love the Devils, but they are mentally Jello (sorry, Chump Deez).  They just didnt look at all like they wanted to be there during the series.  That game last night was so sad.  Their intensity wasn't anywhere near the level that the Flyers had.  I blame Lou Lamoriello.
9.  Mel Kiper is completely fucking obnoxious.

10.  The NFL is greedy.  I know, I know, everyone loves the NFL draft.  But primetime?  During the NBA & NHL playoffs?  Give me a break.
11.  Ndamukong Suh needs a nickname, stat.
12.  Sam Bradford just doesn't have the look to me.  Can't explain why.  I just feel like he won't be worth a shit.
13.  LOVE the Tim Tebow pick.  Denver doesn't need him to play now, so he can continue to develop.  And I trust Josh McDaniels.  As much as I dislike Tom Brady, dude's a winner.  Josh was there with him and saw what it takes.  If nothing else, it'll be fun to see the story unfold.
14.  I love CJ Spiller, but the other 2 RBs in the 1st round wound up in better situations in my opinion.  Ryan Matthews in San Diego is killer, and Jahvid Best (who is NASTY) winds up in Detroit.  The Lions have a serious young core of offense going right now (Stafford, Calvin Johnson, Best, Kevin Smith, Brandon Pettigrew if he can pull it together).  And they're working on that D.
15.  The Eagles are weird.  First they trade Donovan within division (side tangent:  shut the fuck up with all this "they only have to play him twice" bullshit... you're wrong. Each and every game he wins for the Redskins directly affects the Eagles.  So yes, you're only playing him twice, but he's impacting all 16 games).  Then, they trade UP in the first round to get a guy who, by most accounts, would've still been there later in the round.  As a Cowboys fan, I hope they're idiots.  But if this all pans out their management is going to shine.  We'll see.
16.  And finally... most importantly... Dez Bryant going to Dallas makes me so hard.  Fuck all these "character concerns".  He's never been in legal trouble.  Supposedly doesn't even drink.  He's just a freak athlete and fantastic receiver who happened to also get caught up in a sticky situation.  He's a kid, and got scared when the NCAA started questioning him.  Most of us probably would've lied too.  Worked out for the best, though, because now he's a Cowboy.  If Roy Williams can even be a SHADOW of his former self (which I doubt, the fucking prick), this Dallas offense is unreal.  Romo; Marion/Felix/Choice; Witten; Austin/Williams/Crayton/Bryant.  WOW.

That's it for now.  Possibly more random ramblings to come in the near future.

Playoff Hockey is here......

The best time of the year is here folks. “But Deeeeeeeez March Madness came and went.” Nahhhhh- I’m talking about playoff hockey. I don’t just mean it because I admittedly favor the sport, many will agree that playoff hockey is one of the most exciting times in sports. These smash-mouth games have the potential to last until literally the next day and have the physical intensity turned up to 11. The best of the best are all vying to get their names etched into Lord Stanley’s Cup. This is a time that generally consumes me and this year I am especially worried that West coast games are going to keep me up at night and affect my new job's performance.

1 girl 1 Stanley Cup? I'll j-o to that.

The burning question lies before us - who will get to drink from the Cup this year? Obviously there are some amazing teams in the hunt this year- of course there are, they wouldn’t have made the playoffs if they weren’t good. Case in point: the NY Rangers DIDN’T make the playoffs.

Let’s get right into it and keep it short and sweet.

Capitals out of the East. I feel like they do it this year. The Capitals scored 318 goals as a team this year, a full 85 more than their opponents. The 2nd highest team in the league had 272 goals. That is offense. Ovi can score from anywhere on or off the ice. Backstrom had 100+ points. Dudes can score. Goalie/D are not as strong as their O but they made it to the Eastern Conf Finals last year and are stronger this year.

Ovechkin scored a lot this year....

Gotta do it - how about our Devils? Brodeur is still the best in the league, the Devils let up the lowest number of goals again this year. More importantly all of NJ is going to be looking at Kovalchuk to see if he can manufacture inspirado. Not just because I'm a fan but they have a legit shot (being the 2 seed and all), let’s just hope they keep it together.
And so help me God, if anyone mentions to me what happened to the Devils last year in the playoffs I will fucking snap.

The West looks a little more close. Seven out of 8 teams have 100+ points. Sharks are gonna blow it again, I’m not loving the Blackhawks lack of a consistent goalie. So I’m saying Canucks out of the West. They’re the 3 seed, with less points than the 4, but they have a solid team once again and are that #2 team in goals scored. Luongo is fantastic and is fresh off of a boner-of-an-Olympic victory and Sedin is hot with the most points in the league.

I'd Canuck her brains out.... I'm just keeping hot chicks involved to keep you interested in hockey.

Final- Captials Stanley Cup Champs over Canucks in 6 games, and as much as I'd like to see Ovi I'm saying Backstrom as Conn Symthe winner.

Playoff hockey is here and the shit’s real. Watch it and love it. I know baseball started, but there are 150+ freakin games left. Do yourself a favor and watch playoff hockey for the next month. Games start tomorrow, Wednesday April 14. I'll be at the Devils home playoff opener- rocking my red and cheering on my team. Do your duty from your couch and cheer on yours ...and if you don't have a team- get one.
Check out the TV schedule to see when Round 1 games are and where you can watch

I don't have a relevant witty comment for this- it's just too freakin funny.

PS- Pledge your support with your hockey beard