Dear San Diego Chargers and Cooper Manning, Fuck you. Love, God

This Super Bowl should be a good game with many subplots - The most glaring of which is that Peyton Manning, the son of Archie Manning, is going up against his father's former team. As you may remember, Eli and Peyton both were the first overall picks in their drafts out of college, and each of these players also did something that their father never was able to accomplish - they each have won a Super Bowl. Although the Mannings are hogging the spotlight, I feel that something is being overlooked. What do nearly all the QB's even loosely involved in this game have in common? They all fucking hate the Chargers. Seriously.

"If you weren't a former Charger, I would kiss you right now." - Peyton Manning

Lets take a look at possibly the most obvious QB in the discussion - Drew Brees. Brees was drafted by the Chargers in the second round (32nd overall) in 2001. Brees was shown the door by the Chargers in 2006, after 2 consecutive years of great production. The reason? After a sub par 2003 season, the Chargers gave up on Brees and drafted Phillip Rivers, who sat on the bench to watch Brees suddenly become a good QB. While Rivers has played very well for the Chargers since taking over, Brees is the QB threatening NFL records and has his team 1 win from a Super Bowl. Of course, only time will tell if the Chargers made the right decision, but it's certainly something that deserves questioning right now.

While Brees directly played for the Chargers, the Manning boys have twice embarrassed them without even stepping foot on the field. Remember Eli Manning? He was drafted 1st overall, right? By the Giants, right? No, not at all - he was drafted by the San Diego Chargers, but he outright refused to play for them.... think about that. Manning, a QB who many felt was riding the coattails of his father and brother to a top draft pick, publicly says "Fuck you" to the Chargers, and they bend over and take it. The Chargers drafted him to dangle him as trade bait to the Giants - Eli Manning, a Super Bowl winner, was traded for Rivers, Merriman, and Nate Kaeding. Rivers has played really well, Merriman has turned down sex from Tila Tequila, and Nate Kaeding just kicked the Chargers right out of the playoffs.... fair trade? While I can't imagine anyone arguing that Rivers is clearly a superior QB, he still doesn't have that Super Bowl victory, which is what he was brought into San Diego to do.

Okay, so Brees was let go, and Eli was a punk-bitch who refused to play for the Chargers, but what has Peyton done to them? Well, Peyton really hasn't done much to them... but perhaps it's more about what Peyton DIDN'T do FOR them. Remember the 1998 draft? There was a lot of debate about who would go #1 overall - Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf. The Colts had the first pick, and the Chargers had the second. The Colts selected Manning - a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame, and a 1 time Super Bowl winner who could very well win a second this weekend. The Chargers were stuck with Ryan Leaf.... good call Chargers.

Being fair, God doesn't love every member of the Manning family. Well, actually, judging by their mongoloid looks, it's quite possible that God doesn't love any of them.

Eli, Cooper*, and Peyton Manning

* - Citation Needed

Judging by the ways their lives turn out, I think it's fair to say that the eldest son of Archie is the least favored. Cooper Manning was an all state WR in high school - with a 6'4" frame, and conceivably a rocket laser arm and child molester mustache, he had a bright future ahead of him, hoping to follow in his father's footsteps and attend the University of Mississippi. That all suddenly changed when God kicked Cooper in the dick, leaving Cooper with a spinal disease that ended his football career. So your father was a beloved NFL QB, and your two brothers are Super Bowl winning QB's.... and you become an investor for an energy firm. Gee, I wonder who Dad's least favorite is?

WHO I LIKE THIS WEEKEND (BESIDES CHASE UTLEY AND JESSICA BIEL)

No, besides that....

To sum it up in two words - Peyton Manning. Look, the Saints are a good team, but do you really think that their defense is going to perform better against the Colts offense than the Colts defense will against the Saints offense? The Saint's defense is mediocre at best - ranking 20th in points and 25th in yards... and keep in mind that they also were 2nd in the league in turnovers forced - meaning they were a far cry from a good defense - they got the ball from the opponent a lot, but the opponent still put up plenty of yards and points on them. Kevin Kolb and the Eagles (without McNabb) put up over 400 yards on the Saints. The 3-13 Bucs and 1-15 Rams both each put up 400+ yards against the Saints. As did the Cowboys and Falcons. Peyton Manning just led his offense to over 400 yards against the number 1 ranked defense in the league - the Jets.

Peyton Manning reads blitzes exceptionally well, and he takes less sacks than any QB in the league - in fact, he takes the 3rd least amount of sacks per dropback in the history of the league. I'll be the first to admit that if you can get pressure on Manning, knock him around, and keep him off balance, then he can become skittish and get happy-feet in the pocket. However, I simply do not think that the Saints will be able to do that. The Colts line is too good, and Manning is too smart - I don't think the Saints have the depth and talent to both blitz and contain the Colt's receivers (the Saints have given up 250 or more passing yards in 6 or their last 7 games). On top of that, Manning hasn't lost a game that he's played from start to finish in over a year - he's 25-1 in his last 26 games. Of course, the two losses from this year are being left out because Manning didn't play the full thing.

The Saints of course are very talented offensively, and if their defense can keep Manning off balance early (I could picture him struggling early and getting no help from his rushing attack), they could sneak away with a win. Brees is obviously very talented, and I would give them the edge in the return game, which could be a huge factor in a close game. However, it's hard for me to ignore that their defense is about as useful as a degree in Women's Studies. It makes it even harder to ignore that when you consider that Peyton Manning is easily one of the best (if not outright the best) QB's in the league right now. Of course, this "useless" defense has just defeated Brett Favre and Kurt Warner, a shoo-in HOFer and a guy who will certainly merit a discussion for entry. Even so, I think this is the Colts'year. I'm sorry, but I think God just loves the Mannings (excluding Cooper) more than the Saints.... I mean... hell, even Eli did it.