- NBA – Which would be the perfect solution, except they’re doing their All Star weekend, which isn’t much of anything anymore. You have the celebrity game, which is basically T.O. and former television stars from your mom’s favorite soap operas and lifetime movie specials. They make an attempt at exciting TV with the challenges (Skills, 3 Pt and Dunk contest). Problem is, I could give a shit who is in or who wins the 3 Pt contest, and isn’t it obvious that the love of Steve Nash and the midget from NY Robinson that they wouldn’t win their contest by default at this point? Not to take away from the ability because I can’t dunk for shit, but Robinson does a windmill that was perfected 20 years ago and Spike Lee and half the front row fall out of their seats because he’s 5’5. The only highlight of the weekend is the Rookie-Sophomore challenge that gets thrown on a Saturday night (without any sort of promotion) like the redheaded step child. And then the actual game, which is flawed because of fan voting and is an exhibition far less disappointing than what it could actually be. I mean honestly, if you voted, and you actually took the time to circle/dash/write in “Tracy McGrady” or “Allen Iverson” as an all-star, either you’re an asshole or you keep sending in your all star ballot from 2002.
- PBA Bowling – I’m ok with bowling, but watching it? Torture. I’ll have on ESPN in the background on a Sunday afternoon. The show will change from Sportscenter to PBA bowling, and every time it happens I think to myself “Who the fuck changed the channel?!”
- NFL – Shit, I already forgot it’s the whole reason why I’m bored.
- GOLF – There’s 2 feet of snow on the ground outside my apartment, and you mean to tell me somewhere people are playing golf?
- HOCKEY – I never got into it. I don’t have balance to skate, I’d never wear the gloves, don’t have the stamina to play it, 90% of the guys are foreign and/or missing teeth, etc etc.
- MLB – Pitchers and catchers haven’t reported yet, which is good news for the Mets because unofficially they are all still healthy and off the disabled list.
- NASCAR – Which at this point could either be renamed as “Jimmie Johnson and friends” or “Danica”, because idk what I’ll do if I see one more commercial/ad/billboard/post-it note talking about Danica Patrick and her introduction to Nascar. She’s only one driver, and from what we already know, she sucks at it. I’ve never seen someone so over-hyped for their sport over nothing since Kimbo Slice.
What are we left with? The Winter Olympics…I’m overjoyed. I mean, I don’t want to come off rash or un-American: It’s an honor to represent your country and to show you’re the best at your ability. But that being said, the Winter Olympics suck. Maybe I’m just not entertained by the list of sports that take place at the Olympics:
- Skiing events (Alpine, Nordic, Jumping, Freestyle): It’s cool to watch the speed events, but the Biathlon? “Let’s ski a large distance with a gun on our back and shoot at targets every x amount of yards”.
- Skating (Figure, Speed): Minus Apollo Anton “Yoko Loco" Ono, these events/athletes are useless.
- Hockey – See “NHL” above.
- Curling – Guys with brooms push a disk and try to get it to stop at the red dot. It’s like shuffle board on ice with brooms.
- Skeleton and Luge – My condolences for the guy’s family who lost their loved one his test run on the course. Flying on a piece of wood and skates that’s half the size of your body at 90+ mph and having to lean into turns is apparently not the safest thing in the world after all.
that blog? wake me up when you know what you're talking about.
ReplyDeleteA weak attempt at a cheap (much needed) laugh with a predictable "Cool Runnings" joke, you really lost credibility at the last second there by failing to know your facts. If you followed these Olympics, or even did enough research to warrant such a post, you would know that the Jamaicans actually DO NOT have a bobsled team this year. They have 1 lone Olympian, a skier. If you're going to put the effort to type that all up, do us all a favor and take the effort to research what you're saying.
And for the record - I hope they do play "Cool Runnings" - it's one of my favorite movies (regardless of if it is irrelevant this year due to the lack of a Jamaican bobsled team in Vancouver).
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ReplyDeletePoint taken. I missed the only relevant fact that I threw in my blog pertaining to the Olympics. Apologize for the error. If you realize it, though, the whole point of the blog is that I don't have an interest in the Winter Olympics, and every other sport is in a lull at the very same time. Therefore, there is no place to turn.
ReplyDeleteSo don't let my blog affect your hard-on for the Winter Olympics. You're probably one of those people excited that the men's figure skating has the 8 o'clock spot on NBC tonight. Congrats!
Exactly. "The only relevant fact" is exactly right, the rest was just irrelevant fluff really. I understood the point that you're not interested, but being misinformed and ignorant just makes you look bad and therefore negates any credibility to the informed reader.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry, your obstinate opinion on the Olympics certainly will not affect my enjoyment of the games in the very least. Please don't make the mistake of thinking I care what you think. Maybe you should have watched some of the games last night, including figure skating, there is in fact more to life than football and baseball.
Misinformed and ignorant? I get it man, your upset that I don't give a shit about the Olympic games. Just because growing up you always wanted to be on the Wheaties box with the gold medal around your neck doesn't mean I need to choke on my cereal too.
ReplyDelete...You lost me. Choke on cereal?
ReplyDeleteOh and you used the wrong "your" - that is the possessive form, you should have used "you're" as is "you are."
Wow, tough crowd. Now you're correcting my grammar? You've all of a sudden turned into a modern day Miss Shields. Maybe my next blog I'll work backwards and tell you what I want for christmas and then you can help my brother get himself off the flagpole.
ReplyDeleteIf I really wanted to be a stickler I would point out that "Christmas" should be capitalized, as should all holidays. Also, if you're going for the Christmas Story reference- once again you have your facts wrong. It is not Ralphie's brother (Randy) who is stuck on the flagpole, but rather his friend.
ReplyDeleteNice...So let's see, you're ahead of the curve on your Christmas Story movie trivia, have an insatiable need to correct grammar and punctuation, and have a burning desire to be on the Wheaties box. You're better off forgetting about my blog and focus your attention on your beloved Winter Olympics and those guys in tights for the figure skating.
ReplyDeleteI, on the other hand, continue to have no desire to watch them.